Every Rose
The "vibe shift" is well and truly over, and that may not be a bad thing
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Every rose has its thorn. Just like every night has its dawn. Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song. Every rose has its thorn.
I wish I could lay personal claim to this profound wisdom, so poetically put, but of course I can’t. That honor must go to Bret Michaels, sweet swan of Butler, Pennsylvania and lead singer of eighties glam-metal band Poison.
I guess I must have first encountered “Every Rose” watching Beavis and Butthead at my friend Ethan’s house—or was it Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey? Whatever the case, the words have stayed with me ever since, guiding me on my way down life’s long and winding path.
Later, thanks again to Bret, I discovered “Talk Dirty To Me,” with its thrilling cerebral refrain, “Down the basement, lock the cellar door, and baby, talk dirty to me.” I must confess, however, I’m still not quite sure what an “Unskinny Bop” is. There’s time.
Anyway, I was disappointed to re-discover every rose does indeed have its thorn. Yesterday, Bret Michaels pulled out of the Freedom 250 Great American State Fair, making him the fifth artist to do so.
Michaels blamed “threats” and “safety concerns” for his decision.
“When this opportunity was originally presented to my team, it was described as a celebration of our country through music and a chance to honor our veterans, active military, first responders, teachers and hardworking Americans from all walks of life,” Michaels wrote on Instagram.
“As the son of a veteran, and coming from a family that has proudly served, that is something I have always been honored to support.
“As many of you know, I’ve spent my entire career bringing people together through music, positivity and good vibes. My shows have never been about politics. They’re about giving people a place to come together, have a great time and forget about life’s stresses for a few hours.
“Unfortunately, what was presented to us as a celebration of our country has evolved into something much more divisive than what I agreed to be a part of. Concerns have also been raised regarding the safety of my fans, band, crew, family and myself, including threats that are completely unfounded and unforgivable. Because of that, I have made the difficult decision to step away from this performance.”
Thankfully, there is still one man left standing from the original lineup for the Great American State Fair. And what a man he is. The man who invented hip-hop music and dancing, the original white boy with motion, the king of the wiggers—Vanilla Ice. My good friend Jack Posobiec tells me Mr Ice—real name Robert Van Winkle—will be joined onstage by Trump’s “border czar” Tom Homan for a special rendition of “ICE ICE Baby,” which will culminate with a breakdance battle between the two men, adjudicated by Stephen Miller.
“It’s gonna be an epic party,” Winkle has said.
I can’t wait. Really.
Banish that image of Homan doing the Worm from your mind, because there’s a serious point to be made here. The Trump vibe shift is well and truly over. As a friend of mine put it to me, “If even that old dude from the Rock of Love won’t play a concert for fear of being associated with Trump, I think it’s finally over”—“it” of course being the idea that Trump is cool and it’s fine, at long last, to say so in public.
